So sorry it took me so long to get back on here.  Between Christmas and New Year things were a little crazy.  Nate's been here a lot during the day so it's a little tough to get things done.  He loves the computer so as soon as he see's someone on it he is right there next to you.

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and are off to a good start for the New Year...  On this end it went very good, a lot better than I had expected.  I really thought it would be hard, as there are times when it's hard for me to put this all aside and to think positive all day and I knew that I needed to during the holidays but you know what I am learning too... which is nice.  I am learning to wake up and thank god for all the good things in my life and to tell myself that today is going to be a good day.  It doesn't work all the time but at least it's a start.

As to me and what's going on WELL appears someone messed up at U of P and I had all of the scans scheduled on the 28th, 29th and 30th BUT NOONE TOLD ME..... Hello.........  I got a call this morning asking why I didn't show up.  I think someone dropped the ball here... I told them that I had even left a message asking what was going on because I had at least thought I would have an appointment scheduled for this week.  They don't know what happened, all I can think of is that the last day when we were there and this stuff was supposed to be scheduled the receptionist never told me as she just wanted to get out of there cause it was after hours and then on top of it there was a water main break so the traffic was all messed up.  Guess we will never know why it happened it just sucks because it puts my 28 days off schedule.  So I am now going in tomorrow where I have to resign the paperwork for the drug company and the 28 days start all over again.  I have my first scan tomorrow which will be the chest, neck and head - the only one I am really worried about is the head as we already know I have stuff in my neck and chest (hopefully not more than the last one) but this will be the first one of my head and the ONLY one I believe that can stop me from qualifying for the study (so yes little nervous on this one).  Then on Wednesday I go for another abdominal scan (again had one of these so already know I have cancer in this area just hope not more than a month ago) and then on Thursday I go for a bone scan and this will be my first one of those I don't even know exactly what this one entails (but YES I will be researching to see what it is LOL).  So basically this is where we are now, this is the first couple of steps to get the approval for me to take XL-184.  I should be going back to U of P around the 14th (date not set yet as they need all the results first) to go over everything with me and I guess find out what the next steps from here are.  I believe Dr. Brose had said this whole process will take about 3 weeks.  With all the waiting that I have already done another 3 weeks will seem a breeze :)

Overall I am feeling ok - I get tired real quick and I think the flushing is worse then ever (sort of like hot-flashes) so that's driving me nuts.  The dirty D is actually a little better but they have me taking Immodiam everyday as I need to hold in as much nutrients/proteins as possible.  I don't like not having energy to do much but I must say that I like the time I am spending relaxing and the family time it entails. And while I still am not sleeping all night I am sleeping more than 4 or 5 hours so that's real nice.  As to some of the family time here's a quick recap...  We recently had a night playing Apples to Apples and had so much fun, and did you know that you can actually bet on that game (ha-ha only my family would come up with that piece, but it sure does make it even more fun) though I am sorry to say Bern's New Years was off to a bad start as she got pulled over on her way home from Joseph's but ALL IS GOOD there she just needs to get her inspection sticker.  I had a wonderful day with Kayla and Erin seeing Princess and the Frog (recommend this to everyone, such a cute movie) and of course I get a lot of time with Nathan and my mom.  I swear Nathan just gets smarter and smarter every day.  Joe and I are getting a lot of quality time watching Dexter, Keirstyn and James were ahead of us so we have been going into our room shutting the door and trying to catch up.  We are finally on Season 4 but sadly Keirstyn and James finished it so guess we won't be finishing this season together but at least we will be able to start the next one together.

I think that's about it for now.  I love the comments so keep them coming and I will give everyone an update either over the weekend or Monday.  Of course the next couple of days will be hectic so I doubt if I'll be able to write anything before then but will catch up as soon as I can.  I won't have results but will let you all know how the scans went.

Love and Peace to all

Sue